People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
Can you please tell me why there's a bottle of urine on my night stand with a note that says "in case you're thirsty in the morning"? Thanks.
I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
Randomize
