4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
I'm getting turned down for sex. Apparently my "sexual appetite" cannot be satiated even by a man who's such a deviant he went to prison for jerking off in his car.
Oh, AND I met a ukulele teacher that I'd date. So there's that.
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
Just licked cheese from my hot pocket off my phone. I spilled because I was eating a Popsicle at the same time. Send an adult please
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
Today I made my parents proud-spent the afternoon floating around in their pool drinking beer-which I would ask my nephews to get for me out of the fridge
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
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