I will die if light touches me.
Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
it glows. i had to have it.
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
Also, the wait staff kept prematurely clearing my Manhattans. Not sure if it was an oversight or a hint.
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
WE JUST PASSED A FUCKING SPACE SHIP! NOT JOKING! A REAL FUCKING SPACE SHIP! THIS IS NOT THE DRUGS! SPACE! SHIP!
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
Randomize
