Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
Explain it like you would if you were talking to a 5 yo
Wait no, like you would to a stoned high school freshman.
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
he had shaved armpits. I repeat: HE SHAVED. HIS. ARMPITS! First hookup of 2014 and it's with a weirdo. Alcohol:1 Me:0
He sent me a picture of a gas station condom and said "we probably shouldn't use this but if I was to impregnate someone on accident I'd want it to be you"
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
He ate me out while I finished season 1 of Stranger Things. If that's not a modern day relationship goal, then I don't know what is.
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
Randomize
