shit is crazy. i just keep thinking that this kid growing inside Emily used to live in my balls.
My professor just suggested making the state of the union more interesting by turning it into a drinking game. Brilliant!!
Friends bring friends secret work margaritas. my pink water bottle is in the cupboard
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
Let's put a bunch of beers in a backpack and shotgun them in a Red Lobster bathroom
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
Randomize
