Dude I just picked up a married chick while her husband was playing pool.
What do you mean you picked her up? How are you gonna leave the bar?
I didn't. I fucked her in the men's room. Come get me before he finds out.
So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
This is not a drunk text right now. This is an i want your dick text. There is a difference.
Just got tipped $5 for distracting some dude's gf while he got another girl's number. Bro-code at its finest.
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
my parents have to start far too many of our conversations with the sentence "this is an observation, not a judgment" than I'm proud of
My breasts were aching with rage.
My liver is whispering mean things about me to my kidneys. It's a fucking miracle I'm not hungover. Lol
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
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