we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
I just found out I have a small penis.
Couldn't you tell by how you've NEVER had a girlfriend?
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
Floor bacon is actually really good
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
Randomize
