first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
You drank almost the entire bottle of everclear and wanted to walk around. I guess your best friends sister is a cop and you wanted her to arrest you like the lil wayne song.... so sorry dude.
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
The moral of the story is do not hire me because everything will end up smelling like pickles and I will not sufficiently clean it up.
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
Randomize
