we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
dear life, i get it, drinking is not a contest
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
there is nothing like a happy birthday present when you wake up with a bow on your vagina.
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's just not a Friday night unless I'm getting propositioned by a guy in a wheelchair via Facebook messenger...
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
He threw me over his shoulder and carried me outside, all the while drinking from the bottle of rum he was holding, while my ex watched. I'm winning the break-up.
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
He was so traumatized by the It's a small world ride but he immediately pulled out a flask from god-knows-where and got drunk before the ride was over. The ride operator didn't blame him.
Randomize