Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
Just looked at my outgoing calls. Seems I had a 7 minute convo with my 10th grade english teacher at 2:56 am Saturday...
Also, I'm sewing my entire Halloween costume by hand. I better get laid at every single party I go to.
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
But theres a keg here and me gusta
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
The uberlube is also flammable
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
I love that we can live in a world where I can Google "Harry Potter lizard" and an illustration for my dream pops up
Just made a drug contact standing in the sandwich line in the dining hall. Is this real life?
You're my fucking hero.
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
Randomize
