can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
I figured it out! There's blood on the kitchen floor because I fell into the dishwasher. And there's a face dent. And it doesn't work.
Yea.....I saw that happen.
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
Randomize
