we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
Topless wife handwashing shirt. Tonight marriage is good.
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
We were high as balls fucking in the back seat when we saw the blue lights. He's like, "I got this" and walked over butt ass naked and goes, "Sorry dude, we're just banging" and the cop apologized for disturbing us and drove off.
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
I taught a straight girl about grindr today. She showed me tinder. It was like some sexual cultural exchange program
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
Randomize
