If that was your dad, he is hot
dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
The ticket read "Found nude in a tree"
I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
He showed up in a dinosaur costume bearing a tray of cupcakes. He even let me hold his tail. I'm marrying this guy.
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
THE CEO RESPONDED TO THE MEMO WITH HIS "UNICORN" EMAIL ADDRESS AND NOW HE'S APOLOGIZING TO EVERYONE FOR USING HIS PERSONAL EMAIL AT WORK.
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
Randomize
