why didn't you poke me back
If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
I shouldn't be home alone with this much peanut butter and the dog. I feel like i'm being recorded to see when my desperation will peak.
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
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