I just saw a homeless man dressed as a pirate. I love san francisco.
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
Aside from the fact that im drinking wine straight from the bottle to save doing dishes, im also standing in front of the oven to save turning on the heater. its gonna be a rough winter.
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
Good morning! Just thought I'd give you my yearly reminder that we lost our virginities 7 years ago, yesterday.
That's the best creepy text ever.
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
My roommate was tripping balls last night, he kept me up all fucking night
Roommate? Please tell me you're not calling your cat your roommate
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
Just got offered cocaine at ihop. Stay classy America.
How did you tell her we met?
I told her that we met at the sex shop down the street, I thought it would be the most reasonable explanation.
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
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