proudest moment: just made a guy walk into a parked car with his mouth hanging open cause of the shirt im wearing.
69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
She was mid-sentence and then BOOM the hammock broke off the tree. I about pissed myself. Hot Sprite and Vodka make the world go round.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
The bad news is tonight is also a blue moon, ergo, latin, I will have to get 'once in a blue moon' drunk which I feel is significantly more dangerous than IPO drunk
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had tater tots and weed with a stripper at 4am who compared the size of my boob to her head because fuck you my life rocks
Those nachos came to me in a dream
You told me you were trying to learn all the MLB ballparks while you waited for your porn to load.
Also I just took the BEST ass selfie of my adult life.... it's gonna be a good day haha
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
Look, if it comes down to it, I’m spraying whipped cream on your nuts
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