apparently i broke a 100 dollar bill to tip the bartender on a free drink
Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
The gym has a pool
my gym membership just went from "way to get in shape" to "place to go swim when I'm high"
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
My neighbor caught me peeing on his rose bushes at 2 in the morning while wearing my Santa hat. My sex appeal has never been higher.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
Did I tell you I’m going on a date? His name is Michael and we both like dinosaurs and anal.
Randomize