youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
I'm pretty sure I just woke up to one of the airport janitors saying that she wanted to tie me up and do something.. I couldn't hear what, thank god
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
I’ve chosen to watch a Mercedes station wagon drive around the Austrian in the rain because it’s live sports. If that doesn’t explain 2020, I don’t know what does.
Randomize
