dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
She showed up at 4:30 in the morning HAMMERED, stripped, demanded sex, then after 4 failed attempts stopped me mid-thrust to tell me she thought we should be fucking for a cause, like animal rights. Process that for a second. She wanted us to be fucking for animal rights.
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
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