I think the only thing that impresses me are nice penises...and Jesus. Jesus would impress me. Especially if he walked on water again.
god help us all. i just saw an infant wearing a onesie that said "i don't know who my daddy is"
i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
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