Who did Billy Mays play for?
Never drink rum straight from the bottle, even if people say it'll make you a pirate. It won't: it'll make you a bumbling shitfaced idiot who just drank rum straight from the bottle.
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
I just wanna go home eat some pizza rolls, get warm and jerk off, and it's only 845. This shit was supposed to make me see unicorns. Not cry
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
I have 3 texts in my phone that say "Thanks King Tyler". I think I've successfully drank myself into a monarchy.
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
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