My nipple is on Facebook.
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
my mom just wingman'd for me at a bar. i really don't know what else to say.
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
The sound guy for the band told me id make a great valentines gift for his bisexual girlfriend
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
Sorry I didn't answer your call last night, I was peeing on the driveway.
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
I guess I called her at 2am, demanding that she bring us food. She told us to order pizza, and I yelled "DON'T MENTION PIZZA!" I recall nothing.
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