I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
Dear sober self, your keys are on the table in front of you the only way your typing this is with autocorrect goodnight love you
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
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