Omg I just drooled on the screen of my phone from smiling with my mouth open while textin bahahahaahah
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have straight up perfected the art of amazing manicures with shaky-as-fuck adderall hands. Also, I'm way too proud of this.
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
The selfie stick gets 5 stars bc it really added a fun element to my sex tape
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
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