It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
My sister just poured me a dbl Ciroc on the rocks and said "the ice makes it festive." Honestly what a role model.
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
I am listening to Jack Johnson and wearing the sweater your Mother made me fuck mother nature I am in my happy place right now
Randomize
