found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
If it wasn't obvious enough to the cops that she was drunk, she threw in, "I like the colors of the lights because it makes purple."
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
I need to go to St. Louis more often. The brides sorority sisters were practically fighting over me once they heard I work on Wall St.
Randomize
