Don't you send me to vm
So my grandma sent me a doily for my birthday - don't ask why, I don't know. Anyways I put my bong on it, I think it actually classed up the joint.
Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
I'm drinking whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
Note to self: dont wear a butt plug for several hours and then go gym and try and do squats
Randomize
