That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
remind me to tell you about the ham sandwich empire im building
I just watered my plants with apple juice. Look what you made me do.
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
You found me in the back room alone eating someone else's whole birthday cake with my hands then asked me if you could join.
i was drunk enough to give the cab driver my number when he said "you talk like you like guys"
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
Just fell out of the attic onto the garage floor. Okay but might go for an x ray. Smashed one of the kitchen drawers to bits.
Holy Shit Mom
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
Randomize
