I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
Mystery solved: The table is broken because I had sex on it last night.
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
He said he was walking down to the White Castle for sliders, still drinking straight from a 750. He came back two hours later pushing a grocery cart that had two puppies in it.
The puppies promptly had the squirts all over the living room, as he had fed them the sliders.
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
Why is there a cash register on top of my car?
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
Randomize
