wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
I'm sitting on your porch drinking wine from the bottle. Just so your new neighbors know what kind of people are in the neighborhood
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
Dude, some chick came over here earlier and thought my lube was hand sanitizer. She poured it all over her hands.
Randomize
