to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
I couldn't think of the word "bath" so instead I told him I was marinating in soapy water
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
Kids parked next to me are getting it on. I'm eating chicken nuggets listening to Kanye alone. Happy Valentine's Day.
It's 4/20 and I spent the morning in the gym and am working later tonight. I don't even have any weed. Why am I adult-ing again?
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
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