We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
Partial kegs from last night are currently in my bathtub, which leads me to 2 questions: 1. What are you doing tonight? 2. Can I use your shower?
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
Randomize
