Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
that's an acceptable place to lick
And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
A hangover is a type of food poisoning. Makes me feel better about calling out of work.
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
Randomize
