I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
party started at 10. cops are coming to shut us down now and its 11. i already lostmy underwear and im wearing a sparkly thong on my haed. this has to be some kinda record.
I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
I dreamt of sea otters and your boobs. My two favorite things.
Oh btw I learned how to say "my penis is a flamethrower" in German. Tonights gonna be fun
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
I love how we can bond over the fact that we're the only ones who think the guy I drunk hooked up with looks like Voldemort
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