My mom just told me to drench my entire body in vodka for 20 minutes. I have never been this russian. no one has ever been this russian
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
I loved your drunken rendition of "I wanna dance with somebody" that you left on my voicemail last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
Hey, I think I showed you a picture of my nephew while we were fucking last night. Sorry, I know it's weird, I just really love that kid. Again, sorry.
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
Randomize