What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
Randomize