I heard we made out
shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
i just took a sip of diet coke and i said " as soon as it hits my lips i wanna smoke a cig." then i thought of your dick.
He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
I hate it when you make eye contact with someone bcs you are about to make fun of them and they take it as a hint to come hit on you.
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
it glows. i had to have it.
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
You know it was a weird week when you have a mystery bruise and youre unsure if it was from crazy sex or getting bit by a duck. Life.
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
Randomize
