there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
It made me feel like I need a reality show of my life so I could go back and watch the episodes to figure out how I got from the trunk of the car to my neighbors tree house...
Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
This can only be settled by a dance off.
Randomize
