dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
sometimes i just want to live alone. my roommate keeps looking at me weird like hes never seen a girl eat plain salt before
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
I can't wait to hear about your drunken cab ride to planned parenthood at 2pm
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
Is texting an old booty call with "can you still get your ankles behind your ears?" an appropriate way to reemerge into the singles scene???
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