trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
You think if I promise to behave for the rest of my life, god will let me fuck her on the regular?
That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
Damn you. I'm in a bar with Southern Jesus Fearing Blah Blah Rednecks WHO ARE PROBABLY VOTING FOR TRUMP and you go radio silent.
Fun fact: the guy I banged last night. His middle name on his birth certificate is "Windstorm."
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
Randomize
