You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
He's my palate cleanser. He's my mint sorbet. He's my saltine cracker. He's who I fuck between people to make the next one better.
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
Just threw up in a cup driving down the road because there was cop behind me and I didn't want to pull over. Not sure if winning or failing at life.
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
Randomize
