so later when i'm crying over him remind me that he once called his penis "senor weeper"
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
it was her dad's 50th birthday kegger. Within the first 5 minutes I got punched in the ear from an off-duty cop and smoked a joint the size of my vibrator.
oh yeah, and she got boxed-out by said cop. Then her dad turned around and high-fived him for it
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
Would it kill us to punctuate. That last text took me 5 min to read
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
Randomize
