Flowers- 20. Dinner-50. Drinks- 25. Hotel- 150. The look on his face when I tell him I'm on my period? Priceless.
new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You wouldn't let me clean the puke off your face because I'd mess up your cat whiskers. Now that's dedication.
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
I mean I'm completely serious and also drunk.
What a great combination.
Had a job interview today. Walked into the room and said "IT'S GO TIME, BITCHES".
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
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