If i come over, it means nothing
why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
I got chris browned last night
I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
He had a 99.9% chance of getting laid...until he started cutting down the frat's volleyball nets with his pocket knife.
My roommate was being an ass so I put everyone's drinks/shots on his tab for the entire night. Then when we left he was telling me how he got out cheaper than last time.
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
I'm wearing sunglasses around my house. Douchebag status. The hangover is real.
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
Randomize
