God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
What happened to fro yo and sex?
i have achieved a new state of being which requires no food or water but is sustained only by coffee and pure, unrelenting rage
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
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