I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
I made two strippers play rock paper scissors to see who would give me a lap dance last night
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
my mom just said "if you had sex with someone you don't really like I'm going to be so mad at you" HOW DOES EVERYBODY KNOW
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
SO HELP ME GOD THERE IS A SPIDER IN THIS PIZZA. IT IS VERY SMALL IT IS INSIDE THE CRUST AND IT IS ALIVE. I'M SO HUNGRY DO I KEEP EATING
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
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