Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
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