Wow.. I was doing a mental check of my bank balance & I literally just said to myself: 'I have 27 dollars and a bottle of tequila til tuesday-ill be fine'
i was rollin on her like bob the builder
just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
So I decided to start saving money for my abortion in a tomato sauce jar because it says ‘Prego.’ I know I thought it was fucking genius!
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
Randomize
