if i'm ever as drunk as the girl in front of me... kill me.
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
I just accidentally showed an old lady a pic of my penis while showing her cat pics. So how's your day going?
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
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