I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
He drew a bath for me. It was only cute until he started throwing in celery and calling me soup.
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
Randomize
