Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
Last night when I was hammered I set a reminder to tell you that your boobs are my favorite ones in the world, so this is me giving you that message.
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
Totally just locked myself outside of my house, in my robe, with the fedex man and a box of sex toys. Not my week.
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
My lighter is stuck in my beard.
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
There's a quesaritto in the oven. Neither of us have been to Taco Bell in 3 weeks.
Randomize
