sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
ok, im coming! i just found some lemon square in my bangs, washing that out..this shit is all over me! was i in a pie eating contest?
yes
did i win? did you like my outfit? or should i change, if you were horny would you bang me?
I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
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Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
why the fuck is there hamburger meat in the toaster. i repeat: WHY THE FUCK IS THERE HAMBURGER MEAT IN MY NEW TOASTER
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