Jason just peed on the potty all by himself!!
"omg awesome!, you do realize we aren't together anymore"
i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
The Rock is playing the tooth fairy. I can't believe I used to smell what that man was cooking
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
You wouldn't be the first friend to shit himself in the last 7 days
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
Randomize
