It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
I broke up with him in the bar & then asked him if he wanted to have a contest to see who gets the most numbers. I say I took that break up well
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
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