Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
Remind me to call McDonald's to give a good review of Ruth. She truly demonstrated grace under pressure.
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
Last night I made him sit on my bed and finish my burrito bowl as I chanted "brucey" over and over until he was done like they did in Matilda with the chocolate cake
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
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