dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
u know ur in oregon when the cop tells u to keep the beer cans he made u pour out so u can recycle them
Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
In the ER. 2nd degree burns. Drunken attempt to make gasoline scented candles.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
Hey I know you're not home, but I'm here. Your front door is unlocked and someone took shit on your doormat...
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
He was walking around and kept offering the neighbors flamingo lawn ornaments shots of vodka.
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
Randomize