So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
I started dry heaving in the middle of sex and she says "You moan funny."
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
Woke up this morning with fake blood all over my bed which is a positive considering last year it was all real blood
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
Randomize
