Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
I just came out of my doctor's office and i look into the window and i see a guy sitting in the front seat getting head.
why are you so shocked? you live in brooklyn.
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
God that barista is texting me bout his life like i care i mean dude just hook me up with free coffee thats why i gave you my number
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
I SWEAR TO ALL THAT IS HOLY I HAVE NEVER WIPED MY GENITALIA ON ANY TYPE OF EMERGENCY RESPONSE VEHICLE!!
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
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