my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
I Pavlov-trained him by smacking him in the nuts anytime I caught him looking at another girl in public. To this day, he's afraid to break eye contact with me in a restaurant if a tall busty blonde walks in.
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
I had to carry him up the hill while he was wearing nothing but knee high socks and a blue glitter sequin leotard.
Why is this not a picture message?
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
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