Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
Hey, you remember years ago when you told me you would give me a kidney?
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Still slightly drunk, sitting in Hyde park village. Two small children are dancing and singing "call me maybe" on the fountain in front of me. Am I hallucinating?
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
Just try not to have a boner when you're giving your best man speech, it will really kill the vibe
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
My freshman suitemate just walked into the kitchen to find my fuck buddy making chicken enchiladas without me anywhere to be found. Awkward or awesome?
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