no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
So apparently vaginal secretions are not covered under water damage insurance for my cell phone
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
i wanna give whoever invented massage chairs a blow job.
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
Randomize
