Just brushed my teeth...forgot we used this toothbrush in bed last night.
my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
i dont even know how to be here
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
Randomize
