Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
A guy at the bar bought me a jag bomb because I'm the chick that frosts his donuts at KT. Never have I been more proud of being a failure at life.
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
Welp, dad and I drunkenly sang Christmas carols until the police told us to stop. I vote Xmas eve a success
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
Randomize
